Melissa and I are always cautious to use words like “ministry” and “organization” because they have such complex meanings in modern “Christianity” (also a tricky word).

So a fair question is, what makes us think we’re so special?

We are starting a legitimate urban ministry with very traditional intentions, so we need to explain what makes it the same and what makes it different from other organizations.

This isn’t a sales pitch.  These are things that we would genuinely like other people to consider.

What will become of my beard?

No one knows.  A mystery rivaling the origins of the universe, a riddle tantamount to that of the Sphinx, a question of faith and goodness in the world in which we live—what will happen to the hair on my face?

It’s absolutely your last chance to capture this beard for all eternity.

You’ve been with us since the beginning, now make this beard yours.  The ultimate keepsake from our journey through time, like a towering Oak tree’s rings I have a beard hair for each of our compelling experiences.

My beard auction ends tomorrow night.

I don’t understand it either, but as of Wednesday morning my beard is worth $11.50 on the United States market.

As long as the demand for store-bought beards is at least one, then I am in luck.

Smartest business move of our century, and it’s all for charity…