Before I begin, it’s only fair that you know that the only thing I hate more than a boring blog is a suburb.

Grove City – a town of questions.

Simple questions with complex answers like “why does half of the population speak with an Appalachian accent”?

And complex questions with simple answers… “why can I stand in the parking lot of any church in the city and see at least one other church?”

There’s a stuffy, religious overtone to Grove City that is only matched by the arrogant and self-righteous atmosphere of all of Columbus’s suburbs.

Grove City has a cute downtown dimension but might as well not.  It closes down at dark on weekdays and after lunch on weekends.

Looking for a Sunday afternoon snack in a cute downtown boutique?  Go somewhere else.

And if you’re going out anyway, you’d better pack a snack for the car.  It’s just a wee small town, but it takes 25 minutes to get from one side to the other.

There’s not a single road that runs from the east side of the city to the west with a speed limit above 25 miles per hour.

It’s not so bad, though, at least the driving will give you something to do.

The nightlife options include staying home and watching a movie, going to rent a movie, going to see a movie, eating or some combination of the four.

You can also go sit on the couches in the furniture section of Wal-Mart.

Like most of Columbus’ suburbs, retail seems to be Grove City’s only significant industry.

Drive into the city to work, drive back to the suburbs to spend.  Drain the big city of its resources and then move farther away to escape the crime, poverty and poor schools.

When it comes down to it, Grove City is just another middle class white baby factory.

I wish I hadn’t started this blog by derailing the largest section of our reader base.  But I also wish I hadn’t started this blog in Grove City.